Today, I woke up feeling, mad, sad, angry, tired, really I felt anything but happy. I went in to get Lucas up for the day, and I went through the motions. I spoke to him letting him know what we were going to do. I changed his diaper, I made and fed him a bottle. I put him on his playmat to play, but I really just did, I didn't get too involved in any one activity. I really just wanted to crawl back in bed for the day.
I had to take my computer over to my Dad to help me get it to stop freezing on me for no apparent reason (or so I thought). I sat on the couch with Lucas again still going through the motions, but not really dealing with my emotions. My Mom got home and basically told me I needed to snap out of it. At the time, I thought she was being mean. I deserve a little moping time, don't I? I do a lot each day and I should be able to just mope a bit if I see fit. WRONG!
I'm now a MOM. A mom to a small child who has no idea that I woke up on the wrong side of the bed. He doesn't understand what moping means, and he has no idea what feelings other than hunger and happiness are. Poor guy probably thought I was STARVING all day. I took a few minutes to myself and left Lucas with my Mom and headed to the grocery store to get stuff for dinner (enchiladas - YUM!). This gave me a moment to separate myself from everything and to get my priorities back on track.
Lucas deserves a Mom who is there 100%. I want to be there for him. I LOVE seeing life through his eyes. Today is the last day I wake up selfish. No matter how I feel when I wake up, I can find the bright side of things in his eyes. I might have to look a moment longer on a day when I wake up a little down, but happiness I will find.
Everyday isn't perfect. Life serves lemons, and there's no lemonade in sight, but there is always a little bundle of joy that will keep me on track. He is my love and he is my life!
I also have an add to yesterday's post: I learned this morning, when you take all that time picking out the perfect outfit and he spits up on it 5 minutes later, the process starts all over again! : )
Love,
Lisa and Lucas
PS: Thanks Mom for snapping me out of it! I needed that! Love you!
You're welcome! ♥
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